Can you honestly say that you love yourself? More often than not we fall into self-destructive behavior and actions pattern. Without even realizing it we self-doubt and question ourselves and our actions constantly, this eventually makes us dislike and even despise ourselves which in return makes us feel bad and drives negative habits.
Cut the cycle and learn how to love yourself more so that you feel more confident and positive about yourself!
By Mariam Elhamy
1. Stop the Self-Destructive Talk
Overthinking will not get you anywhere because if you don’t manage it right, it will always make you feel worse. Dwelling on your past mistakes and going over your decisions can either be very healthy or very harmful.
Instead of hating or being hard on yourself for ‘being this way’ look at your mistakes with a forgiving eye and learn from them to make better choices in the future. Your mistakes don’t define you they should make you wiser and stronger. Before you say, “I’m weak,” say, “I feel weak right now, but I know I can do this.”
2. Forget What Others Think
People will always talk, no matter what you do or how you do it that’s just the way we are. We judge others to make ourselves feel a part of something and we reflect our own insecurities on other people’s actions to feel good about ourselves.
So stop listening to what people think about you because what do they really know? If they judge you based on a single mistake you’ve made in the past then it’s their loss for not getting to know how awesome you’ve become.
3. Embrace your Imperfections
We don’t always feel great about ourselves but it’s very important in these self-doubting moments to remember that our scars and flaws are the making of us, of the strong, reliable, responsible and confident people that we are today.
4. Talk About it and Act Like it!
Being humble is an amazing quality; however, it could make you forget how great you are. How you value and talk about yourself is very important, if you’re proud of what you’re doing then don’t be afraid to compliment yourself and celebrate your achievements. Do it! Own it! Enjoy it!
It’s not only important to love yourself and feel confident about it, you have to act like you do. Whenever you feel a self-doubting thought coming in think of two things that you’re actually grateful for or that you really like about yourself, it’s important for your self-esteem. Fix your posture, bring your head up high and smile confidently.
5. Allow Others to Help
It’s sometimes hard to ask for help especially when you don’t even realize that you need it. If you feel insecure or vulnerable it’s time to put your trust in those who love you for advice and encouraging words.
Hearing an outside perspective can really change the destructive patterns. The great thing about close friends and family is that they have the power to support and empower you.
6. Stop with the Comparisons
We’re all going through a different journey and when you compare yourself to others you’re setting yourself on the road to failure. You’re not exactly like anyone you’ve ever met or will ever meet. Know your strengths, go at your own pace and find your own path.
7. Learn to Enjoy your Own Company
If you’re one of these people who always have to be around someone else to feel good then take this advice seriously and try as hard as you can to find an activity, whether traveling, meditating, going to the movies, exercising or sunbathing, that you can do all by yourself and enjoy without needing anyone else’s company.
8. Buy Yourself the Things you Want
Instead of waiting for someone to get you something, get yourself a gift every once in a while. Rewarding yourself is important as to how you value yourself and appreciate it. Take care of yourself because you really don’t need anyone else to do it for you.
9. Take Responsibility for your Own Actions
Clearly, you can’t love your messy self if you’re lying to yourself or making excuses. True self-love means taking responsibility and accountability for what you do.
Don’t shy away from uncomfortable feelings like anger and sadness. If you deny them, you deny a part of yourself. Allow yourself to express them in a healthy way.
10. Give Yourself a Break from Trying to be Perfect All the Time
Keep a diary of all your thoughts, the good and the bad, and all the things you appreciate and feel grateful for in your life. When you go back to read those over time you’ll feel proud to have overcome so much and be where you are and you’ll appreciate the things you have more.
Don’t be afraid to say no to others when you feel like it’s too much for you, stand up for yourself and earn the respect you expect and deserve. Trust that you know what is best for you, when you learn to trust yourself you learn to love yourself.