red flags

Everyone’s been making jokes about red flags but they are usually clear signs of how a person behaves in certain situations. Catching these red flags early on will save you a lot of time and heartbreak.

In reality, it’s harder said than done but the truth is that no one should be with anyone who has more than one of the following traits. Watch out for these 10 red flags!

By Mariam Elhamy

1. Overly Controlling Everything in Your Life

“I don’t want you to see these friends anymore, I don’t like them.”, “Why are you dressed like that?”, “What hobbies? You don’t need to do any of that”, “Stay home today I don’t want you to go out”, do all these sentences sound familiar to you? Red flags!

Controlling people are very hard to deal with, they try to control everything in your life the way they think it should be. You don’t need that, you can be your own judge of what to do or who to be friends with.

2. Never Trusting You

No matter what you do to try to make them feel safe they always feel as if you’re doing something behind their back and they don’t trust or believe you when you try to explain it. They ask for your passwords and they are constantly looking over your shoulder to see who you’re texting. Red flags!

You don’t need that, it’s one thing to be protective and another thing to not trust the person you’re with. If you’re going to spend your life together you should be able to trust each other fully and not always have doubts or live in fear.

3. Constantly Putting You Down

In the sense that they always make you feel less and they never push you to become better. They always make fun of you or your skills even if in a joking way. You deserve someone who believes in you and has faith that you can do anything you set your mind to.

4. Being Narcissistic and Selfish

The one that thinks they are better than everyone else. Being emotionally involved with a narcissistic, ego-driven person can be exhausting because their needs will come first no matter what and they would rather die than admit or own up to their mistakes.

You won’t catch a break and they will never give you the attention you deserve but they require attention from you 24/7. It’s also really bad if they refer to all their exes as “crazy” or never admit that they could have had a hand in their failed relationships because it only means that they will always blame you if anything goes wrong.

5. Having Anger Management Issues

If you feel unsafe in any way around them, especially when they’re angry then run as fast as you can. A lot of people mistake emotional and physical abuse for other things but the fact remains, these people almost never change. Definitely a red flag!

6. Being Codependent 

When someone is addicted to being in a relationship they rely on you exclusively for emotional, psychological, and even physical support. This not only puts too much pressure on the relationship and your mental and emotional health, but it can also damage your own relationships with family and friends, and hinder your career development.

7. Avoiding Conflict

It’s okay to postpone a fight for a day or two until things cool down, but to bottle it all up and never resolve or confront the root of the problem will only fix it temporarily but it will always come up. If you’re with someone who’s too afraid to communicate and face their problems then you’ll never be able to live in peace.

8. Being Emotionally Unintelligent

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive and manage your emotions. People who aren’t emotionally intelligent will rarely understand your feelings or empathize with you. They are usually guarded and don’t even understand or acknowledge their own emotions.

9. Your Friends/Family Don’t Like Them

red flagsYour friends and family usually know you best so if they have concerns about your partner you should keep an open mind when hearing them out. Especially if it’s based on how they’ve been acting or how they treat you when other people are not around.

10. Being Overly Jealous, Stingy, a Liar, a Cheater and a Bad Listener

These are all just very obvious red flags you should very much be careful of.

As a general rule with any relationship in your life, never ignore a red flag, talk it out with your partner and reach some conclusions, if things are not resolved and they still show the same behavior then don’t settle and wait for the right person. They will come!

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